I actually had an interview at long last, too bad it was just a part time job and not either a full time job that I've been longing for or an internship that could then hopefully get me into the full time job I've been longing for but at least I would have some income coming in opposed to taking money out of my savings when ever I need some cash.
Any way I don't think it was that bad really, it could have been better but it could've been so much worse too.
I found out that my local Bingo hall had some vacancies so I applied online and I got a phone call to arrange my interview and it was all going fine until I had the interview.
I am the sort of person who when something bothers me I put it to the back of my mind and try not to think about it or I end up getting really frustrated and upset with worry so I pretty much spent the whole day trying not to think about it and when I got there and told the girl at the desk I had an interview I sat down and tried not to think about it which was probably a bad idea because I should have probably been sitting there thinking bout the questions they would probably ask so I could think of some decent answers.
The people who worked there were really nice, both the man who interviewed me and the people on the desk, I think it's important to remember that people don't want you to fall apart at an interview/audition because it's not just awful for you but it's awful for the interviewer too, I've been told by drama teachers and my media college tutors many times that this is true and they are people who have worked in theatre production and radio/television production so I trust them when they say that employers will want you to feel at ease.
I'm just really shy (which to be honest is probably why I choose to blog and not to vlog or podcast) when I get used to something I get more confident and friends know that whilst I'm really quiet when you first meet me and then after a few weeks I turn into a motor mouth who will tell you just about anything.
The only problem with this is when it comes to interviews (and meeting certain people for the first time) I don't paint myself in the best light and stutter a lot, if I could just fast forward a few weeks to when I'm feeling comfortable with someone I might come across as a better candidate/person and I might be better at first impressions.
Any way someone on the desk recognized me from school and I honestly didn't remember him at all, I felt really bad because I'm usually the kind of person who gets forgotten about and it seems weird to me that someone would remember me and I wouldn't remember who they were.
It turned out his younger brother was in my year at school and was in most of my classes, I remember the boy in my class and listening to the boy at the front desk they were really similar, they sounded the same and said similar things but I still had no idea that boy had an older brother, I'm sorry.
During the interview it's self I spoke clearly which to be honest about I was really scared I wouldn't speak clearly enough and that I would start mumbling but I didn't, I did do that thing however where you use "Your acting Voice".
I don't know if you've realised but people have acting voices, you notice this the most if you've been in a drama group/acting classes or if you did drama/acting at school.
I don't know why but at my school at least everyone sounded really posh (probably because I live in the south of England near London so my drama class sounded posher for some reason).
If you watch reality TV, have been to see an amateur theatre production, or had to hear a speech of some kind you've probably heard the acting voice, it's when the words sound really deliberate, over spaced and slow when normally your voice sounds more fluid. Maybe you don't know what I mean and you think I'm crazy but the point is that my voice was different at the start of the interview and changed half way through so that was embarrassing.
The worst part of the interview and my biggest downfall was that I hadn't prepared for any questions so I hesitated and had some really long awkward pauses but I refused to give up and back down and answered all the questions anyway, I really thought I would give up and say "I don't know, sorry." but I didn't, I have to admit I don't think some of my answers made much sense and the worst part is if it weren't for me feeling nervous I probably could've though of better answers on the spot so if I don't get this job have to remember to think about what they might ask me in advance.
I don't even know if I have the job or not, they said that they should've known by Saturday but it's now Monday, they said that they like to let everyone know whether or not they got the job and they would rather use the phone but they might send a letter...
So basically they might phoneme , they might send me a letter or they might not actually let me know so I could be sitting around waiting for a phone call or a letter that might not come.
My advice (and a note to myself) think in advance what they might ask you and think of answers so they don't catch you out during the interview.
Monday, 25 November 2013
I don't think people always know what I mean.
I have a bad habit of wording things oddly, not sure if you noticed, but I sometimes do and it's gotten me into trouble on a few occasions.
First off the bat I say "you" or "you're" in conversations with people when I'm not referring to the person I'm talking to.
I say "you" when I mean "them" or "me".
When I say "you" I'm either talking about groups of people or giving an example and trying to include the person I'm talking to, like you do in a rhetorical question like "how would you feel if it happened to you?" it's like you're trying to make the feel the question.
I would be telling a story and I will say "you" when I should've said something else like one time I said to my friend during a discussion about how I hate it when people who insult other people for no reason "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like you could be walking down the street and someone starts calling you names, like they'll call you... I don't know... fat or something."
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I accidentally called my friend fat,I felt so bad and I swear I didn't mean it to sound like that, it's was honestly an accident it's just that it sounds so awful. I still feel really bad about it , I'm really sorry.
What I really meant to say was "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like when people call other people names. Like someone could just be walking down the street and someone calls them a horrible name ... I don't know... like fat or something." and you can see how this can be an issue but thankfully she knows me pretty well and didn't decide to punch me in the face.
I've said "you" and "you're" so many times on the internet and gotten into trouble over it.
I can't actually recall any examples, It's funny when you remember getting in trouble for doing something but can't actually remember how it happened but I remember this one time in particular on a forum site and I said "you" and someone got really offended and they started saying how they had never once done the thing I had accused them of and that I didn't know them and stuff like that and I tried so hard to explain and failed miserably, I think I said something along the lines of "when I say "you" I don't mean actual "you" as in "YOU" behind the screen, I'm usually referring to myself when I say you." they must have been so confused because they don't know what I'm like and how awkwardly I word things, they probably thought I had just insulted them and accused them of something awful when I didn't actually mean to.
Thank god I said that on the internet and not to their face so they couldn't punch me, I feel really bad about that too again , I'm sorry.
Another thing I do/am guilty of is explaining things badly, If you haven't noticed I waffle on.
I literally repeat the same thing over and over I just word it differently each time.
I think my problem is that I explained it so badly the first time that either the look on the person I'm talking to seems to say I need to word things differently, or they ask me what I meant or I'm so disappointed with my original explanation I have to do it again and this is why my blog posts go on and on.
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I'm even worse in person, I don't suppose it comes as a surprise to any one but I'm really shy and awkward.(because it's not like people who choose to write on the internet for a hobby are exactly know for their outgoing personality and exciting social lives, no offence because you could be the most confident, busy and exciting person in the world and who just happens to blog but I'm not and I don't think I'm the only one.)
Any way I get really nervous talking to alone stranger and I'm even worse talking to a large group of strangers and I will worry about it like crazy before hand and it really shouldn't be that hard but I end up making it harder than it should be and I often plan what I'm going to say but when I actually come to saying it I pretty much take all of my planning and preparations and throw the majority of it out the window.
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When I have to speak in public I literally plan what I'm going to say word for word and write a huge paragraph in advance, I then skip out most of it whilst trying to retain the main points of the paragraph but I end up using really awful words despite the fact I have a whole page in my hand full of expertly crafted sentences and impressive words that I slaved over.Why do I do that.
The points don't really flow together when I improvise either and I just sloppily move from one point to the next and then I talk really fast just to get the whole thing over with. It's really embarrassing and it feels like this.
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It's a little weird really because I used to belong to a dance group and a drama group and we used to perform on stage and I was fine but as soon as I had to talk to the audience directly I'd freeze and do the whole "forget everything you were meant to say and blurt out the points in no particular order" thing, I remember crying in a speaking and listening exam in English at school, it was awful and I was hyper ventilating and sobbing for a good half an hour which is embarrassing really, it's just talking and I can talk to my friends perfectly fine if any thing it's a task trying to get me to shut up so why can't I talk to strangers but thankfully the teacher felt bad for me and made the speaking exams more intimate by putting us into smaller friendship groups which was better so fortunately I didn't fail GCSE English.
I often joke that my awkwardness with strangers is going to be my downfall and I'm going to wind up forever alone but a part of me if a little worried that if I don't pluck up the courage to talk to people I will be alone. forever.
I guess I'm lucky really because I'm a girl and there's more pressure for boys to make the first move any way although that's a little old fashioned now and I do think I need to gain more confidence, I'm not going to be a particularly interesting date if I can't talk properly.
I'm a little worried but doubt I'm going to be "forever alone", I'm 18 and I'm sure things will be easier when I get a job although that might not be for a while. (I'm starting to think that the rest of my life in going to revolve around me getting a job) I could then meet people through work or I can pay to go out somewhere and meet people that way, until then I guess I should just go and be brave and try to talk to people more.
although that's easier said then done when you don't have any money/reason to go out because you don't have a job in the first place, oh well.
Any have some courage you could lend me? It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
P.S I used a scanner today but I think taking photo's is easier for me, the scanner seems to put pink marks on the image so next time I think I'll just go back to taking pictures but any tips on how to use a scanner is much appreciated.
First off the bat I say "you" or "you're" in conversations with people when I'm not referring to the person I'm talking to.
I say "you" when I mean "them" or "me".
When I say "you" I'm either talking about groups of people or giving an example and trying to include the person I'm talking to, like you do in a rhetorical question like "how would you feel if it happened to you?" it's like you're trying to make the feel the question.
I would be telling a story and I will say "you" when I should've said something else like one time I said to my friend during a discussion about how I hate it when people who insult other people for no reason "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like you could be walking down the street and someone starts calling you names, like they'll call you... I don't know... fat or something."
I accidentally called my friend fat,I felt so bad and I swear I didn't mean it to sound like that, it's was honestly an accident it's just that it sounds so awful. I still feel really bad about it , I'm really sorry.
What I really meant to say was "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like when people call other people names. Like someone could just be walking down the street and someone calls them a horrible name ... I don't know... like fat or something." and you can see how this can be an issue but thankfully she knows me pretty well and didn't decide to punch me in the face.
I've said "you" and "you're" so many times on the internet and gotten into trouble over it.
I can't actually recall any examples, It's funny when you remember getting in trouble for doing something but can't actually remember how it happened but I remember this one time in particular on a forum site and I said "you" and someone got really offended and they started saying how they had never once done the thing I had accused them of and that I didn't know them and stuff like that and I tried so hard to explain and failed miserably, I think I said something along the lines of "when I say "you" I don't mean actual "you" as in "YOU" behind the screen, I'm usually referring to myself when I say you." they must have been so confused because they don't know what I'm like and how awkwardly I word things, they probably thought I had just insulted them and accused them of something awful when I didn't actually mean to.
Thank god I said that on the internet and not to their face so they couldn't punch me, I feel really bad about that too again , I'm sorry.
Another thing I do/am guilty of is explaining things badly, If you haven't noticed I waffle on.
I literally repeat the same thing over and over I just word it differently each time.
I think my problem is that I explained it so badly the first time that either the look on the person I'm talking to seems to say I need to word things differently, or they ask me what I meant or I'm so disappointed with my original explanation I have to do it again and this is why my blog posts go on and on.
I'm even worse in person, I don't suppose it comes as a surprise to any one but I'm really shy and awkward.(because it's not like people who choose to write on the internet for a hobby are exactly know for their outgoing personality and exciting social lives, no offence because you could be the most confident, busy and exciting person in the world and who just happens to blog but I'm not and I don't think I'm the only one.)
Any way I get really nervous talking to alone stranger and I'm even worse talking to a large group of strangers and I will worry about it like crazy before hand and it really shouldn't be that hard but I end up making it harder than it should be and I often plan what I'm going to say but when I actually come to saying it I pretty much take all of my planning and preparations and throw the majority of it out the window.
When I have to speak in public I literally plan what I'm going to say word for word and write a huge paragraph in advance, I then skip out most of it whilst trying to retain the main points of the paragraph but I end up using really awful words despite the fact I have a whole page in my hand full of expertly crafted sentences and impressive words that I slaved over.Why do I do that.
The points don't really flow together when I improvise either and I just sloppily move from one point to the next and then I talk really fast just to get the whole thing over with. It's really embarrassing and it feels like this.
It's a little weird really because I used to belong to a dance group and a drama group and we used to perform on stage and I was fine but as soon as I had to talk to the audience directly I'd freeze and do the whole "forget everything you were meant to say and blurt out the points in no particular order" thing, I remember crying in a speaking and listening exam in English at school, it was awful and I was hyper ventilating and sobbing for a good half an hour which is embarrassing really, it's just talking and I can talk to my friends perfectly fine if any thing it's a task trying to get me to shut up so why can't I talk to strangers but thankfully the teacher felt bad for me and made the speaking exams more intimate by putting us into smaller friendship groups which was better so fortunately I didn't fail GCSE English.
I often joke that my awkwardness with strangers is going to be my downfall and I'm going to wind up forever alone but a part of me if a little worried that if I don't pluck up the courage to talk to people I will be alone. forever.
I guess I'm lucky really because I'm a girl and there's more pressure for boys to make the first move any way although that's a little old fashioned now and I do think I need to gain more confidence, I'm not going to be a particularly interesting date if I can't talk properly.
I'm a little worried but doubt I'm going to be "forever alone", I'm 18 and I'm sure things will be easier when I get a job although that might not be for a while. (I'm starting to think that the rest of my life in going to revolve around me getting a job) I could then meet people through work or I can pay to go out somewhere and meet people that way, until then I guess I should just go and be brave and try to talk to people more.
although that's easier said then done when you don't have any money/reason to go out because you don't have a job in the first place, oh well.
Any have some courage you could lend me? It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
P.S I used a scanner today but I think taking photo's is easier for me, the scanner seems to put pink marks on the image so next time I think I'll just go back to taking pictures but any tips on how to use a scanner is much appreciated.
Friday, 8 November 2013
I have a dilemma with my local comic book shop.
I love comics, super hero movies and super hero cartoons and this shop even sells a comic book for a web series/cartoon I watch, this shop even sells figurines and dolls. I really love this shop, I think it's one of the coolest shops in town but there is one problem. I've never read/brought a comic book.
I read web comics and manga but I feel that's different, when you read a comic online you can just start from the beginning and work your way through, manga is the same because you start at the first volume and work your way to the end but where do you start with a comic book?
maybe I'm just being nit-picky but most comic book characters have been around for years and I don't know where the best place to start is, I guess I could find the start of an interesting story arch but what arch do I start with?
I suppose I know enough back story on some super heroes like batman to not get confused but what about super hero's I'm not so familiar with?
Another thing is that I live in the UK and all the prices are in dollars and I have no idea how much they are going to cost in pounds.
I went there today and I saw a comic I wanted for $3.99, things should be cheaper in the uk and using the internet I worked out that should make it £2.49 but because the comics would need to be shipped in so that will bump up the prices and the other comics are priced differently and then there are comics in mint condition and they cost even more and I'm just over whelmed by it all.
I just feel really awkward, you'd think it would be hard to feel awkward in a comic book shop but it doesn't take a lot to make me feel awkward, it's just I walk in, look through comics, look at some figurines, consider things I could get for birthdays and and Christmas and then I leave, it's really embarrassing and people are going to think I'm a wannabe nerd.
I like nerdy things I guess but I wouldn't label myself a nerd, I like lots of different things for lots of different things and I'm not bothered about how people see my interests but I worry that the shop owner is getting annoyed at me for visiting so often and rarely ever buying anything. I just feel bad about it.
I keep thinking that someday I should go out with some money and just try and buy something I like the look of and just see if I have enough, but I still haven't actually got around to it yet.
If anyone has any suggestions like maybe a good comic book or a good place to start please let me know in the comments, I would be really grateful. Thank you.
I read web comics and manga but I feel that's different, when you read a comic online you can just start from the beginning and work your way through, manga is the same because you start at the first volume and work your way to the end but where do you start with a comic book?
maybe I'm just being nit-picky but most comic book characters have been around for years and I don't know where the best place to start is, I guess I could find the start of an interesting story arch but what arch do I start with?
I suppose I know enough back story on some super heroes like batman to not get confused but what about super hero's I'm not so familiar with?
Another thing is that I live in the UK and all the prices are in dollars and I have no idea how much they are going to cost in pounds.
I went there today and I saw a comic I wanted for $3.99, things should be cheaper in the uk and using the internet I worked out that should make it £2.49 but because the comics would need to be shipped in so that will bump up the prices and the other comics are priced differently and then there are comics in mint condition and they cost even more and I'm just over whelmed by it all.
I just feel really awkward, you'd think it would be hard to feel awkward in a comic book shop but it doesn't take a lot to make me feel awkward, it's just I walk in, look through comics, look at some figurines, consider things I could get for birthdays and and Christmas and then I leave, it's really embarrassing and people are going to think I'm a wannabe nerd.
I like nerdy things I guess but I wouldn't label myself a nerd, I like lots of different things for lots of different things and I'm not bothered about how people see my interests but I worry that the shop owner is getting annoyed at me for visiting so often and rarely ever buying anything. I just feel bad about it.
I keep thinking that someday I should go out with some money and just try and buy something I like the look of and just see if I have enough, but I still haven't actually got around to it yet.
If anyone has any suggestions like maybe a good comic book or a good place to start please let me know in the comments, I would be really grateful. Thank you.
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