I don't think people always know what I mean.

I have a bad habit of wording things oddly, not sure if you noticed, but I sometimes do and it's gotten me into trouble on a few occasions.

First off the bat I say "you" or "you're" in conversations with people when I'm not referring to the person I'm talking to.
I say "you" when I mean "them"  or "me".
When I say "you" I'm either talking about groups of people or giving an example and trying to include the person I'm talking to, like you do in a rhetorical question like "how would you feel if it happened to you?" it's like you're trying to make the feel the question.

I would be telling a story and I will say "you" when  I should've said something else like one time I said to my friend during a discussion about how I hate it when people who insult other people for no reason "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like you could be walking down the street and someone starts calling you names, like they'll call you... I don't know... fat or something."

I accidentally called my friend fat,I felt so bad and I swear I didn't mean it to sound like that, it's was honestly an accident it's just that it sounds so awful. I still feel really bad about it , I'm really sorry.

 What I really meant to say was "I hate it when people say horrible things to other people, like when people call other people names. Like someone could just be walking down the street and someone calls them a horrible name ... I don't know... like fat or something." and you can see how this can be an issue but thankfully she knows me pretty well and didn't decide to punch me in the face.

I've said "you" and "you're" so many times on the internet and gotten into trouble over it.
 I can't actually recall any examples, It's funny when you remember getting in trouble for doing something but can't actually remember how it happened but I remember this one time in particular on a forum site and I said "you" and someone got really offended and they started saying how they had never once done the thing I had accused them of and that I didn't know them and stuff like that and I tried so hard to explain and failed miserably, I think I said something along the lines of "when I say "you" I don't mean actual "you" as in "YOU" behind the screen, I'm usually referring to myself when I say you." they must have been so confused because they don't know what I'm like and how awkwardly I word things, they probably thought I had just insulted them and accused them of something awful when I didn't actually mean to.
Thank god I said that on the internet and not to their face so they couldn't punch me, I feel really bad about that too again , I'm sorry.

Another thing I do/am guilty of is explaining things badly, If you haven't noticed I waffle on.
I literally repeat the same thing over and over I just word it differently each time.
I think my problem is that I explained it so badly the first time that either the look on the person I'm talking to seems to say I need to word things differently, or they ask me what I meant or I'm so disappointed with my original explanation I have to do it again and this is why my blog posts go on and on.

I'm even worse in person, I don't suppose it comes as a surprise to any one but I'm really shy and awkward.(because it's not like people who choose to write on the internet for a hobby are exactly know for their outgoing  personality and exciting social lives, no offence because you could be the most confident, busy and exciting person in the world and who just happens to blog but I'm not and I don't think I'm the only one.)

Any way I get really nervous talking to alone stranger and I'm even worse talking to a large group of strangers and I will worry about it like crazy before hand and it really shouldn't be that hard but I end up making it harder than it should be and I often plan what I'm going to say but when I actually come to saying it I pretty much take all of  my planning and preparations and throw the majority of it out the window.

When I have to speak in public I literally plan what I'm going to say word for word and write a huge paragraph in advance, I then skip out most of it whilst trying to retain the main points of the paragraph but I end up using really awful words despite the fact I have a whole page in my hand full of expertly crafted sentences and impressive words that I slaved over.Why do I do that.
The points don't really flow together when I improvise either and I just sloppily move from one point to the next and then I talk really fast just to get the whole thing over with. It's really embarrassing and it feels like this.

It's a little weird really because I used to belong to a dance group and a drama group and we used to perform on stage and I was fine but as soon as I had to talk to the audience directly I'd freeze and do the whole "forget everything you were meant to say and blurt out the points in no particular order" thing, I remember crying in a speaking and listening exam in English at school, it was awful and I was hyper ventilating and sobbing for a good half an hour which is embarrassing really, it's just talking and I can talk to my friends perfectly fine if any thing it's a task trying to get me to shut up so why can't I talk to strangers but thankfully the teacher felt bad for me and made the speaking exams more intimate by putting us into smaller friendship groups which was better so fortunately I didn't fail GCSE English.

I often joke that my awkwardness with strangers is going to be my downfall and I'm going to wind up forever alone but a part of me if a little worried that if I don't pluck up the courage to talk to people I will be alone. forever.
I guess I'm lucky really because I'm a girl and there's more pressure for boys to make the first move any way although that's a little old fashioned now and I do think I need to gain more confidence, I'm not going to be a particularly interesting date if I can't talk properly.

I'm a little worried but doubt I'm going to be "forever alone", I'm 18 and I'm sure things will be easier when I get a job although that might not be for a while. (I'm starting to think that the rest of my life in going to revolve around me getting a job) I could then meet people through work or I can pay to go out somewhere and meet people that way, until then I guess I should just go and be brave and try to talk to people more.
although that's easier said then done when you don't have any money/reason to go out because you don't have a job in the first place, oh well.


Any have some courage you could lend me? It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
P.S I used a scanner today but I think taking photo's is easier for me, the scanner seems to put pink marks on the image so next time I think I'll just go back to taking pictures but any tips on how to use a scanner is much appreciated.