I'm not the most competitive person in the world, if someone challenges me I just back down, if I lose a game I'm not bothered.
I think I've come to the conclusion that I am my biggest rival, if someone insults me and I end up crying it isn't really because of what the person said but more because I didn't stand up for myself or I felt what they said were true and I get angry at myself for being that way, which is probably why I like learning about things, writing, drawing and stuff because those are things I can improve, it's not really a competition thing.
Not being competitive pretty much makes the majority of sports really boring, so P.E lessons weren't really the highlight of my week like they were for some kids.
I was also notoriously weak and wimpy and I couldn't throw, hit or kick to save my life I wasn't even particularly fast, my limbs were so scrawny they were pretty much useless.
The kids who were good at sport really didn't understand, it's like they thought that I was being pathetic on purpose like being a noodle armed, jelly legged wimp was cool or something, if you ever ended up on their team they would give you that disappointed look.
It was like the had lost the second I was put on the team which to be honest they were probably right.
I was one of the kids that when the other kids played tag with me they would go out of their way to help me win because I could never catch anyone, the competitive people hated having me on their team, despite not really being bothered whether we won or not coupled with my unfitness I did try pretty hard to enjoy it and I didn't want to let everyone down either and I did my best in P.E but some how I would find a way to ruin the game.
Dodge-ball was the worse, I was pretty good at the dodging part I put it all down to my general avoidance of the ball so I was often the last person on my team which was the worst, because dodge ball was mixed gender I was literally up against 5 boys. alone.
It must have been horrible for them because they known I can't throw a ball to save my life so there was no chance in hell I would hit any of them and if they hit me hard with the balls (I was pretty puny at school) people would call them mean and to make matters worse there was a really good chance I would end up crying if I got hurt so to avoid looking like awful people who hurt the scrawny, quiet girl they would take it in turns to lightly toss dodge-balls in my direction and hope I go down quietly, it was really awkward and I think I really annoyed the everyone, those boys must have hated playing dodge ball with me.
At my school we had a weird dodge-ball rule and if you hit the backboard on the basket ball hoops at the other end of the gym you could get the rest of your team who were on the bench back in the game so when ever I was the last person left in dodge-ball everyone would be yelling at me to hit the backboard.
I couldn't even bounce the balls far enough to reach the other teams feet let alone throw it high and far enough for it to hit the basket ball hoops, they should have just let me forfeit it would have been so much easier but my the boys on my team were so competitive and refused to let me admit defeat, they even went as far as to shout words of motivation but there was no chance in hell I would ever win so after a while I would pretend to get hit and sit out when my team was wearing a little thin.
I actually liked long distance running and dancing sometimes I was never a very good dancer but it's just something that you can do for fun and isn't really competitive when you are alone and it's not something you need to be particularly good at to find fun kind of like singing, I sing and dance (badly) sometimes when I'm home alone, my neighbours must be wondering what's going on.
I was okay at long distance running, I was never first or anything but it was probably the only sporting activity I was okay at which was nice and I would often try and out run other people, I would never get much past 4th or 3rd place, there was this girl who had amazing stamina and would always come first and there would always be another person faster than me but I was proud of myself, I was a terrible person who liked over taking people, I guess it was because I was notoriously slow when it came to short distance, so people would be both surprised and upset that I had managed to over take them.
I left school 2 years ago I haven't really done any proper sport since, which is really bad and I really should do something about that.
I would love to hear form people, to at least know that maybe, just maybe there is someone else who is as lazy as me or maybe someone knows some kind of sport I could try (you know ones that don't involve, throwing, kicking or hitting balls with thing so I don't look like I'm that bad.)
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